Do Pitchers Dream of Electric Clocks?

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I’ve had an affinity with baseball since I was kid. I remember explaining to my gran how I’d found my way to the game as she responded with a wry smile. She had worked in Goodison as a young woman and enjoyed baseball games as the troops came over to play, “it’s in your blood” she told me.

It was August 22nd 2018 and I finally got to go to my first game and it did not disappoint. The sights, the sounds, the smells, baseball is an intoxicating experience in a way no other sport can match in my opinion.

From the minute I saw Fenway Park I was hooked. It may sound trite to refer to the stadium as a “baseball cathedral” but to many, including myself, it holds a reverance that can only be described as spiritual.

When I stepped foot inside Fenway, I knew I was in a place of great significance. As a foreigner it was only natural that this experience would be, well foreign to me, and yet it felt anything but. It felt as if I was supposed to be there and I was where I belonged.

After ordering my Fenway Frank and a beer, my companion to this game and I made our way to our seats. I was still in awe of the confines – yes I know confines is more associated with Wrigley but work with me here. Speaking of which, what a strange oxymoron that is, “friendly confines”, “confines” being a word outside of baseball used to describe a prison and yet here meaning the complete opposite. You never feel freer than at a baseball game.

Now we come to the crux of the matter. A ticking clock. What do you think of when you think of a ticking clock? In life, when is a ticking clock ever a welcome sound? To me a ticking clock is an annoyance at best and at worst one of many reasons I had to take part in therapy sessions. Thanks to said sessions I can now see the importance of a clock in life and how meaningful it makes every interaction for the better, but, can we say the same of baseball?

It speeds up the game, but to what purpose? Well it makes it more exciting apparently. I do not agree, in fact, I strongly disagree. A ticking clock in American Football, in Basketball and in Ice Hockey makes perfect sense because it adds drama. The adulation as your team beats the clock to score a last second winner? Priceless; but how so in baseball?

I’m yet to see a single good reason for the pitch clock that doesn’t equate to “I can beat the traffic” or something equally uninspiring. The best way to beat the traffic is to not go, problem solved.


You already had highlight packages that were getting shorter and shorter for your convenience, fast food baseball if you will. Why must everything be whittled down and more accessible for your consumption?

What next? Do we put timers on books? Will the book punish you for not finishing a paragraph. within 15 seconds? Wouldn’t that be fun?! The sad fact is that we as a society have been so conditioned to consume our lives at haste that we now are effervescent to swap the gourmet meal that was baseball for a from frozen burger and if “progress” is anything to go by, that will soon be replaced with a pill to replace the hassle of having to bother to chew.

Archibald ‘Moonlight’ Graham told of how he’d love to wink at the pitcher in his wind up to let him think he knows something the pitcher doesn’t, he’d barely have time to step up to the plate now let alone wink.

Do I still love baseball? Yes, I do, but as with many things just not in the way I did. I enjoy that there’s more shortball in the game now but that could have been achieved just by changing the size of the bags, it didn’t need a pitch clock. I don’t like that a pitcher is limited in pickoff attempts but I can understand it and it has served a purpose within the game of baseball as has the banning of the shift whether we like it or not. Where is the purpose that the clock serves though?

The World Baseball Classic had no clock, it was as perfect an example of what baseball can be. Ohtani staring down Trout and giving his country the ultimate prize could have been the finale of a Hollywood western. In that moment you can find what hooked me to this game, it lasted more than 15 seconds per pitch.

I haven’t even mentioned the upturn in injuries to pitchers, probably just a coincidence as we make human beings more robotic, don’t worry though, AI will take care of all of this and you’ll have every pitch thrown within 15 seconds and be home before you know it and all those wonderfully nuanced moments that made the game unique will be lost in time like tears in rain, tick, tick, tick …


Three things I like about your MLB team

There are teams I like and teams I dislike but overall the reason I created The Screwball and JoBu Show is because there’s something to admire about every team either now or in their past.

With that said and the fact I’m newish to the game in mind, here are what I like about 30 teams in the MLB

AL EAST:

Baltimore Orioles – Those unis and that logo. Camden Yards. The fact you have an exciting project ahead.

New York Yankees – Too many greats to name, those classic pinstripes and every great story needs a “bad” guy and that rivalry with the Red Sox is immense.

Toronto Blue Jays – a lot of current players I like, you play in Canada which I may one day call home, really like the moves you’ve made to compete this year

Boston Red Sox – Fenway is second to none, family and friends in New England, greatest comeback in the sports history and that rivalry with the Yankees. The Pesky Report is my kind of podcast as well. Oh and Xander hit the second HR I ever saw.

Tampa Bay Rays – Really like how the team operates, overachievers and play the game the right way. I have more to learn about them and this week is Rays week on the podcast.

AL Central:

Kansas City Royals – Play the game the right way, like those blues and the ball park looks pretty cool. Oh yeah the fans have impressed me most with the love shown to Benintendi at 5 down after he made an error then came back with a very good play.

Detroit Tigers – That home run by Cabrera on opening day, Akil Baddoo’s start, that logo I first saw on Magnum …

Minnesota Twins – Great name, nice looking ball park, I really like Maeda

Chicago White Sox – That Sox throwback uni is awesome, part of the best series I’ve seen so far with the Angels, Abreu refusing to hit anything bur homeruns

Cleveland Indians – Bob Uecker, the team from Major League … for now, Shane Bieber. Oh and the first HR I ever saw? Edwin Encarnacion in an Indians uniform at Fenway Park.

AL West:

Houston Astros – You signed one of my best friends (love ya Joe YNWA), your orange striped throwbacks are superb, I like the train

LA Angels – Shohei Ohtain, Mike Trout, best series so far and most exciting team to watch so far.

Seattle Mariners – Ichirooooo!!!!!! Kikuchi, exciting future project.

Texas Rangers – Nolan Ryan, Joey Gallo, Nate Lowe.

Oakland A’s – both logos, well run ball club, feel really accessible for a reason I can’t quite understand. Oh and I really like Pinder.

NL East:

Washington Nationals – Trea Turner, winning after “losing” Harper, quite like the logos.

Philadelphia Phillies – The Phanatic! I like the unis, I can get a cheesesteak at the game (yeah I’m a tourist) oh and Zac Wheeler showing why we shouldn’t use the universal DH

NY Mets – Lindor, De Grom, JoBu is a Mets fan.

Miami Marlins – The Mariachi band! (apologies if they’re not Mariachi but that’s what I’m calling them until futher notice), Chisholm, exciting project.

Atlanta Braves – Glavine, Maddux, Smoltz. Sorry, I had to.

NL Central:

Cincinnati Reds – Along with the Angels, the most exciting team I’ve seen so far. Most surprising as well after opening day. Nearly always open at home. Castellanos.

Chicago Cubs – Wrigley, overcoming the biggest curse in baseball, the “W”.

St Louis Cardinals – Probably the classiest organisation in baseball or thereabouts. Really well run club and one of the more underrated ball parks I’ve seen.

Milwaukee Brewers – JoBu supports them. A lot of my friends support them, that opening day finish! Bob Uecker for real and not just in movies.

Pittsburgh Pirates – PNC Park, Ke’Bryan Hayes, exciting project

NL West:

LA Dodgers – if we include Brooklyn, has any ball club be as instrumental in the history of the game? Julio Urias will always have a special place in my heart, as will Fernando Valenzuela and of course Jackie Robinson. Such a beautiful view from the ball park as well.

San Diego Padres – Electric on their day. Nice looking ball park and I love Blake Snell

Arizona Diamondbacks – Big Unit, Clemens, Marte. I need to learn more about them but that’s not a bad starting point!

San Francisco Giants – Beautiful ball park, Kevin Gausmann my favourite “sleeper” pick for fantasy and again if we’re talking New York Giants as well, Willie Mays. Also what a rivalry with the Dodgers

Colorado Rockies – Lovable “losers”, not even really an exciting project, quite like those purple unis and logos, you gotta be loyal to follow this team. McMahon 3 for 3 HR’s performance. Trevor Story, that opening day, I’m really trying for the Rockies because damn do they deserve it. Colorado is pretty beautiful as well from what I’ve seen.

So there you have it. I did my best with what little knowledge I have. Hopefully as my knowledge improves and as time goes by, I’ll appreciate most if not all, more in the future.